Middle Seat Back Row is all about sharing my stories with you. #yourewelcome #oversharingismygift #thesharingitburns
I bet you’re wondering how a girl with no tech background can build a website with nothing but her two bare hands? Simple! I just used the broken pieces of a ceiling fan my son took apart, and duck tape! Also, I took advantage of important tools like GOOGLE to decode big techy words like embedded content.
I bet you’re wondering…
Why a mother of three with three jobs, three concussions and three dollars to her name, would spend precious time googling hitech words instead of doing something important, like stopping her children from exploding peeps in the microwave? Easy! It’s called avoidant behavior; it’s a coping mechanism for when you don’t want to do what you are suppose to do, like going to the gym, emailing your boss, or fighting with your child about doing their homework.
I bet you’re wondering what I do when I’m not building award winning websites or avoiding my children.
Simple! I work as a Customer Service Agent for the airlines! This means I get to wear snappy polyester uniforms, and brag about things like peeing at the top of the Eiffel Tower!
No! Not OFF the Eiffel Tower, there are laws about that!
I only spit off the top.
I’m also a Certified Behaviorist, which means I don’t have to google words like perseverate, because I already know what they mean! This comes in handy since two of my three boys have autism, because duh, I’m an overachiever.
I bet you’re wondering what Middle Seat Back Row is all about?
Simple! Statistics show that social media induced depression or SMID has risen a whopping 220 percent since 2017. Psychologists determined this is due to people only sharing the shiny parts of their lives. This misconception leaves the public with the mistaken assumption that everyone else is happy and successful, except them.
But Middle Seat Back Row is different; we offer not only made up statistics and acronyms, but a rare, inside look at the raw reality of…. reality. Specifically, my reality. Trust me, after reading just a few paragraphs, you will feel like you are #winningatlife. Because if there’s one thing I’m an expert at, it’s failing! Constantly, consistently and repeatedly, failing. Four out of Five doctors agree that following Middle Seat Back Row will lead to instantaneous feelings of euphoria, because everyone likes to feel like they are better than someone else.
I bet you’re wondering what my secret to survival is!
Simple! Like an idiot; I refuse to stay down. Which means, I am an expert on rising. Constantly, consistently, repeatedly, rising. I’m offering you not only the inside information that I just spilled Diet Dr Pepper all over my sons recently completed Eagle Scout application, but the hope, and promise that you can rise too.
These are my stories.
Follow me like a stalker. Everybody’s doing it.
Also, anybody want to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge? Because I do! #lastonetheresarottenegg